Winter Blues: Why the Dark Triggers You

As soon as the clocks go back and it goes dark, it all comes back. Another terrible winter. Another depressing time. Another unhappy, dark, lonely period.

I think the winter blues is a trigger, and it's one the whole country gets at once.

Why does the dark bring the winter blues?

Most of us have had winters that were hard. Sad ones, depressing ones, ones that took ages to get out of. And we've had them again and again. So when it goes dark, your body doesn't see an evening. It sees all of those winters coming back.

English people get triggered by the dark. We know where we think it's going.

Is the dark really the problem?

Seriously, think about a baby. A baby is just as happy in winter as in summer. A dog is just as happy in winter and summer. My six-year-old is just as happy in winter or summer. They don't see the dark and get depressed and say, I need a holiday. They just carry on, it's neutral.

Light or dark, it's a completely neutral situation. It's the meaning we add to it that makes it not neutral. The things we think it's going to result in: depression, anxiety, sorrow, sadness, being alone, not wanting to go out, it being cold, it being uncomfortable, it being too expensive to go away because it's too far to travel, and everybody else being depressed.

What I noticed coming back from LA

I went to LA in February for two weeks. When I came back, I felt as if everyone in England had a mental disorder. Everybody was so angry at each other, so snappy, so resentful, so bitter.

I'd escaped the triggering weather. In LA the sunshine triggers me into happiness. Everything's going to be great today, I'm going to sunbathe. Then I came home and saw what the winter had done to everyone.

How to deal with the winter blues using the S.H.I.F.T. Framework

First we Spot it. You wake up in the morning and there's a heaviness inside that you don't feel in the summer. Spot when you're getting down, when you're starting to feel depressed, triggered into sadness and moroseness and whatever. And say, I've been triggered. The dark and the winter and the lack of light have triggered me into this feeling. Call it a trigger, not an is.

Then we Hear it, and we release the charge. Talk to your inner child and listen to her. Listen to her screams and her cries about the sad, traumatic times she's had. Then listen from there to yourself, as an adult. Have you had terrible winters, or had bad things happen during one? Allow all those feelings to come up, and start to dissolve the charges. I'd recommend one of my meditations to help you do that.

Then we Interrupt. Look at the meaning we've added, whether it's because of this day or because of winter. It's going to be a tough six months. I'm going to struggle. It's going to be difficult. I'm not going to see the sun for ages. I'm going to be lonely. It's going to be freezing cold soon. I'm going to be doing the school run in the dark. I'm not going to go out any more. I'm going to need all my winter clothes, which are really heavy and difficult, and it's going to be hard dressing the kids up that warm. Then try and get rid of all of that meaning, because to be honest, it's empty.

Coming up we've got Halloween, bonfire night, birthdays, Christmas, New Year, potentially a January holiday. That's a massive opportunity to get a lot of things done, and AI gives us something to do now: sit in the house and build and create our visions and our dreams and our businesses.

Once we excavate the meaning we put on top, we can Find new answers by asking new questions, from clarity. What does winter offer me? What new opportunities are there in this winter that there weren't in the winter before? How can I make the most use of this time? And my favourite phrase of all: where is the opportunity here? Where is the opportunity for me in this dark day? Where is the opportunity if it goes dark at 5 o'clock? Where is the opportunity if there's a lot more time staying in, and a lack of FOMO because everybody else is in too? Could I use the next 5 months to get the dream body I've always wanted? Could I use them to become an AI expert, or launch a business, or renovate my house, or save money?

That starts to disrupt the charge that takes us to the negative, the meaning we overlay on winter and the darkness. We're dismantling it, and putting a new meaning in.

And then we Take action. What is the one thing I could do right now that would take me towards these new opportunities, that would make winter and this darkness a plus, that would work in my favour, that would give me hope and bring me joy? Take at least 1 to 5 actions that way.

Do that each morning and you climb your way out of the charge. You climb out of the past, out of the meaning, and out of the cultural triggering and the cultural meaning that's been embedded into these next six months.

Can you stop the winter blues?

I think it's possible to not get affected. It takes a bit more work when everybody around you is in that state. But if I can be in LA, come back, and be in a completely different state because the sun triggered me, then this is everything I do.

I believe we can Detrigger ourselves and control our reaction to things. And I believe that's as possible with winter and dark nights as it is meeting an abusive ex, or going to a place where you've had past trauma, or being called names that for generations have meant bad things to people of your colour or your sex. We take the control back. We're not affected by these external, environmental things, and we control our state and our emotions so we can be the true people we're meant to be.

Then we don't lose momentum in the next six months. We get to be a leader who guides other people, rather than one of the sheep in the pack, pushed around by social conditioning and past experiences. Otherwise we become automated beings, unhappy until the environment says we have permission to be the other way.

A dark night, and us being very happy about it. No depression. No blues.

My experience and opinion, not medical advice. If it feels heavy and doesn't lift, speak to your GP.